Join the Tiny Buddha list<\/strong> for 20 free gifts, including challenges, workbooks, and more!<\/p>\n “When you wake up in the morning, think about how precious a privilege it is to live\u2014to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” ~ Marcus Aurelius<\/strong><\/p>\n Thank you.<\/p>\n It used to be a very arousing thought for me, and sometimes it still is.<\/p>\n It’s been a process of figuring out what it means to me and being okay on days when I’m hurt or sad, when I feel like I have nothing to be thankful for. It’s okay to be in those places.<\/p>\n Gratitude is one of the many tools I’ve used to change my perspective on my circumstances (when I can) and feel better\u2014and it’s one of the things that’s kept me alive.<\/p>\n Statistically, I shouldn’t be here. Not only alive, but healthy and safe.<\/strong><\/p>\n Do you know the ACE (adverse childhood events) test? Yeah, well, I passed (pun intended) that test. Ten out of ten, which gives me the award for\u2026 the highest chance of mental, physical, and behavioral health problems and the lowest life expectancy.<\/p>\n My whole growing up was a mess. I had parents who were crack addicts. I was physically, sexually and emotionally abused. Drug dealers were in and out of this apartment. Children’s Aid workers stopping by to visit was a regular occurrence.<\/p>\n I didn’t know if I would come home from school, at the age of nine, to find my parents dead from an overdose. Sometimes they didn’t leave their room for days, which left me filled with anxiety that was like a heavy stone in my stomach.<\/p>\n Family and friends end up in jail, on the streets, addicted, or dead before their time.<\/p>\n Sometimes we got kicked out, and sometimes I didn’t have any food to eat, so I kept packets of oatmeal in my room for emergencies. Like I said, chaos. Maybe you can communicate?<\/p>\n This is where gratitude came into the picture. It seems like there wouldn’t be anything to be thankful for in the middle of this nightmare I was living in, right? Well, call it delusional optimism, call it whatever, but I have found things to be thankful for.<\/strong><\/p>\n Oh, I had a teacher who said they believed in me? Thank you. Oh, I got lunch today again<\/em> dinner? Thank you. Are mom and dad alive today? Thank you. I was not beaten today; thank you<\/p>\n You see, I firmly believe that surviving my childhood gave me a strong sense of gratitude that I have today. And I believe this is in all of us, but sometimes we can’t reach it, and that’s fine<\/em>. However, when we know it, it can be a good thing.<\/p>\n I am so grateful sometimes, I can’t stand you, and I cry tears of joy. I live in my safe house, where I can go into the kitchen and take what I want without fear of being beaten? Wow. It doesn’t even have to be tied to trauma or grief, this feeling of gratitude. You mean I can turn on the faucet and get clean water if I want it? Thank you.<\/p>\n I have all my limbs. I see. I can write. I can read. I have a smartphone. I can drive. Thank you.<\/p>\n Sometimes, if we stop for a moment and think about the things we are grateful for, if we know it, it can literally change our mind. The more we think about the things we are thankful for, the more we begin to notice and see the things we have to be thankful for. Become our default program.<\/p>\n Please hear me here. I’m not suggesting we pretend it’s all sunshine and rainbows. (But when was the last time you saw and appreciated a rainbow?) We all hurt. Things happen, bad things.<\/strong><\/p>\n Sexual abuse survivors, hello, how are you? I see you. Survivors of domestic violence, hello, nice to meet you. I can hear you. I’m with you.<\/p>\n Life is hard, and when someone gets that, I do. I have a diagnosis of complex traumatic stress disorder which is a lifelong companion that I have had to learn to accept. Some days I feel like I’m throwing gratitude out the window.<\/p>\n But I know it makes a big difference in my mood, so I keep working on it.<\/p>\n Here are some practical steps and lessons I’ve learned from gratitude. Please do not take these as things to follow or judge them by the level of gratitude. If these things are not within your reach, it’s okay.<\/em><\/p>\n Starting your day with gratitude has the ability to color your entire day in a positive way. This does not have to be a complicated and time-consuming process; one second when you open your eyes in the morning is all you need. You can cook for just one second; you deserve that.<\/p>\n To keep it really simple, just think of one thing you’re grateful for\u2014anything. It sounds cliche, but what about the fact that you were able to open your eyes and see? If you can write it down, even better, which is my next tip.<\/p>\n If you can start writing down the things you are grateful for, try it. Writing things down allows you to keep track, look back, and remember all the big and small things you’re grateful for. You can carry a small notebook, keep it by your bed, or jot down things on your phone\u2014whatever is most accessible to you.<\/p>\n Be silly and think about the things you are grateful for; the little child inside will thank you. Did watching a cartoon or reading a book bring you joy as a child? That would be a moment of gratitude. Do you do a happy little dance while brushing your teeth just because you can’t move your body? That would be something else. It could be anything.<\/p>\n Some days are hard, and we have enough energy to barely survive the day. Some days even the word “gratitude” can be overwhelming, never mind the things to be thankful for. That’s right<\/em>. Allow yourself to feel any feelings you feel and try to be gentle with yourself. That’s enough my friends.<\/p>\n The good thing about finding things to be grateful for is that the more you practice, the more it becomes a habit and a game, and it becomes easier. You may begin to look at life situations differently.<\/p>\n If you are going through a difficult situation or season right now, whether you are dealing with abuse, grief, divorce, loss, health issues, or just plain life getting you down, I want you to know that I see you and how hard I find this. I have been there, and I will be there again.<\/p>\n If you have access to gratitude, it can be a supportive tool. If you can’t access it, it’s okay<\/em>. Please hear me: if you are not grateful or not grateful, there is nothing wrong with you, and you are not making a healing mistake.<\/p>\n Here are three things I am thankful for today.<\/p>\n Thank you for having the ability to write this message, my warm blanket, and the hummingbirds playing outside my window. Here’s your chance\u2014if you can and it’s within your reach, please leave some things you’re thankful for in the comments below. I would like to hear them.<\/p>\n Take care beautiful people.<\/p>\nStarting (and ending) your day with gratitude is powerful. <\/strong><\/h4>\n
Write it down.<\/strong><\/h4>\n
Have fun with it.<\/strong><\/h4>\n
Be gentle with yourself on the hard days.<\/strong><\/h4>\n
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