The state of parental leave in the US is dire. This, we know. And, often, that conversation can be slow.
If you’d like to talk about maternity leave from a practical perspective, rather than an overtly stressful one, you’ll enjoy the work of Brad Harrington, director of Boston College’s Center for Work and Family. Harrington has spent the better part of the last decade authoring a number of illuminating studies that have highlighted just how bad a job our society is doing in helping new fathers bond with their children. His work is useful and important, it helps to illuminate the desire that many fathers have to be part of their families, why they feel forced into certain roles, and that, while the legal barriers must be jumped over, while they are high, they lead to a better place. Here are some of Harrington’s biggest points.
READ MORE: Dad’s Guide to Paternity Leave
Fathers Want to Be More Involved Than Society Allows
In one of their studies, Harrington and his team asked about 1,000 fathers how they viewed their role in the home, on a continuum from breadwinner to caregiver. “He heard from his father that they want to be courted more than his father,” he said. About three-quarters say they see themselves as equal parts of the two. He says: “That was a more balanced view than we expected.” We thought that fathers would be biased in feeding the children. But their actual role at home isn’t that ideal: Even though two-thirds of guys say they want to split child care 50-50 with their partner, nearly one in three report that their work is split between them. The remaining majority said they cared for less than half of the children. “The disconnect between what they wanted to do and what they did was huge.”
Paternity Leave is Important for Building Engaged, Confident Fathers
In his research, Harrington found that only about 75 percent of fathers take a week off for paternity leave (and that a vanishingly small number take more than two weeks, and a depressing 15 percent return to work the next day). Unfortunately, the lack of paternity leave has consequences that can last a lifetime. “They don’t really get care in any meaningful way for those few days, and they don’t understand what it’s like to care for a child alone,” Harrington said. The short amount of time fathers spend with their children is not enough to build confidence in their parenting skills. And it’s time for them not to come back. “It’s unlikely that a father will ever be equal, and that approach has a reinforcing effect: The more the mother cares for the child, the more she feels she can care for him. (Editor’s Note: Harrington’s study population was college-educated men in white-collar jobs, so they may have better access to paid paternity leave than other citizens, making the situation worse for many Americans.)
Maternity Leave Is On Everyone’s Mind
In 2014, Harrington focused his efforts on trying to find out what men want and expect from paternity leave. “We were trying to get men’s opinions,” he said. Asking this question to more than 1,000 fathers with at least one child under the age of 18, he asked how important paid paternity leave would be if they were looking for a new job. About 90 percent of fathers surveyed said that leave is very important or very important on their radar, and 60 percent of those men fall into the zone. a lot or extremely category. Regarding salary, nearly 85 percent said they would have to earn 70 percent of their full salary to take leave. “Their best was two to four weeks,” Harrington said. He points out that their sample was biased because, sadly, these boys were among the few in the country who were able to get paid, albeit short, paternity leave.
Fathers Should Learn Something From The Feminist Movement
Women have always had a place at home, but they have had to struggle at work, Harrington said. Men are in the opposite situation. Feminism didn’t happen overnight, but if men want to be heard about maternity leave, they might have to learn something from that and speak up. “There was a strong coalition that organized its compliance to make sure it happened,” said Harrington. “I don’t see the same thing going on. There is no Gloria Steinem for men at home.” Harrington has never seen leaders strong and passionate enough in the matter to hold anything but lukewarm attention. “Women fill male-oriented roles, but men don’t do the opposite.”
There Won’t Be A Tip Anytime Soon
“A strong national policy would be great, but I don’t see that happening,” Harrington said. Instead, he thinks states, municipalities, and forward-thinking companies will continue to add paid paternity leave. “At some point, there will be a tipping point, but we’re not there yet.” And until then, he says, it’s not just fathers and children who are affected. “Employers must stand up and say that if we want to see women progress, we must encourage men to take time off or make flexible work plans.”
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