Taking paternity leave is one of the best things a new father can do. Among the many benefits, fathers who take time off work tend to be more confident in their parenting, develop a better emotional bond with their child, and have stronger relationships with their significant others. In general, paternity leave allows men to experience more fulfilling weeks in their lives. In short: If you have a baby on the way, you have to take it.
But you need to make plans to do it – which is easier in some work situations than others. In order to maintain your reputation as a team player and maintain management of your most popular projects, you want to inform your manager of your needs in advance. Even if you’re actually “telling” your boss that you’re going to take your well-deserved time off, it’s best to do so tactfully and graciously.
“When you tell your boss about taking maternity leave, you want to try to do it in a way that doesn’t hurt your employer, doesn’t create conflict with your boss, and most importantly, doesn’t cause you more stress at this important time in your life,” says Liane Davey, author of the book. Good Fight: Use Effective Conflict to Get Your Team and Organization Back on Track.
Here are five things you should do before and during the interview.
1. Read Your Legal Rights, and Your Company’s Policy
Before informing your manager of your plans to take paternity leave, read your company’s policy carefully. Log into your company’s intranet HR database and view information and documentation of the programs offered. It may have changed since you were hired: to attract and retain employees in a hot job market, companies are rapidly improving their offerings. If you don’t see the details of your company’s plan, check with your HR representative to clarify. Crowdsource, if you can: if you know of colleagues who have taken paternity leave recently, ask them about their experience. They may have tips, or they may be able to point out any pitfalls in the process.
If your company does not offer you parental leave, you still have the right, in most cases, to take time off. The Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 (FMLA) guarantees new parents up to twelve weeks of leave per year after the birth, adoption, or placement of a child. That means you work for a company with more than fifty employees and that you worked 1,250 hours in the past year. It is important to note that this is a federally mandated leave unpaid.
“Unfortunately, in the United States, the only real job protection we have in this area is the FMLA. And it does something important: it makes it illegal to terminate you while you’re out. So you may want to file that paperwork in addition to anything your workplace might provide,” said Tamica Sears, executive coach and HR consultant. Aside from FMLA, you’ll want to check and see what paternity leave laws are in your state. California, New Jersey, New York, and Maine are among the states with paid leave mandates, and the list is growing.
2. Give Advance Notice — Three Months, If Possible
The amount of notice you give your boss, whether formal or informal, depends on your relationship with him. If you have a good relationship with your boss and you feel comfortable saying “My wife, partner, or spouse, is pregnant, and I need to take time off to start x y&z,” then it’s best to tell them as soon as you feel comfortable with the pregnancy or the plan.
FMLA requires leave to be requested at least 30 days in advance, but you may want to give your boss three months’ notice — or even more if your position is too difficult to turn back.
“The reason for giving that notice in advance is to say to that person, if I’m going to be gone for six to twelve weeks, I want to make sure that I’m setting the team up for success, and make sure that I don’t cause even one point of failure,” said Davey.
Even if you have a good relationship with your manager and can casually talk to them about important work topics, you still want to send a formal email detailing your request to both them and your HR representative, so you’re officially on the record.
3. Go with a plan
It’s in your best interest to make your time away from work go as smoothly as possible – and that means, considering your tasks and projects ahead of time. What will happen in the coming months, and who on your team can handle the job? Is there a very young member of staff who might be ready to step up?
“Take the power to solve problems from your list. Give your boss a real plan, and try to empathize with them. You want to give them as many options as possible so they’re not backed up against the wall,” Davey said.
With a few months’ notice, you’ll have time to coax your colleagues into meetings that might give them an idea of ​​the scope of projects they’ll be working on in your absence.
4. Consider How You Want to Connect
When it comes to staying connected to your workplace while on paternity leave, there are many schools of thought. Some new dads go into shutdown mode, completely uninstalling their Microsoft Outlook during their move. Others occasionally dive into projects they love, challenging situations, or big year-round programs. And some choose a two-pronged approach, starting with a period of no contact, then choosing to become more involved as the break progresses.
Think carefully about what you would like to do. And know that it is better not to promise that if there is something you can contribute while you are not in the office.
The point here is that even before you go on paternity leave, you should think about how you will return to work – doing so will make your return easier, and reduce the level of stress while caring for the new member of your family.
5. Understand That Choice Will Be Worth It
As long as you know that you are an important part of your team, it is unreasonable to expect that your choice to take paternity leave will not have consequences. Water will find another way. Your works will be downloaded by others. Maybe some will leave the map. If you’re out of sight, you can be out of mind. And in this instance, that’s perfectly fine. Don’t let that stop you from taking the time.
“Even if it seems like you can’t quantify the value of maternity leave, your child will benefit in ways you may not immediately realize, six days, six months, and six years down the road,” says Davey. “And you will.”
This article was originally published
