What if I accept that what I really want is a smaller, slower, simpler life? A good, peaceful, gentle life. I think that’s enough.” ~Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Digui
Why do we feel pressure to dream big? I think it starts in childhood when parents, teachers, and other adults start asking the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
One of the many problems with this question is its premise. In the classroom, at church, at youth camp, and at home, you are not alone, and you can hear, understand, and internalize how others might answer this question. If you listen closely, you will notice changes in the responses from age group to age group.
For young children, the answer is very simple and depends on their environment. A young girl may answer that she wants to be a mother when she grows up. The little boy may answer that he wants to be a policeman. A teenage girl might say she wants to be a teacher, and a teenage boy might say he wants to be a detective. A girl may want to be a singer when she grows up, or a boy may want to be a football player.
By the time most of these children reach young adulthood, the answers will not be as varied and simple as they used to be. The answers will begin to have a certain pattern. The most common answers would be doctors, lawyers, investment bankers, pilots, engineers, etc.
There are certainly many reasons for this, but what I want to highlight is financial freedom and everything that goes with it.
At some point in our lives, we realize the power that money has, and our dreams, desires, ambitions, and lifestyle begin to take root in it.
Where I come from, it is rare for teachers to advise students not to become teachers but to try to become doctors or pilots because those fields usually make a lot of money. Everything else is less urgent.
There is a strange story we tell ourselves that, as long as the money is there, everything else will fall into place. If you’re old enough, you’ve probably discovered how unflattering this story is. But that doesn’t mean you’ve changed your goals.
Whether it’s becoming a doctor, teacher, inventor, small business owner, or something else, our dreams and aspirations often take very similar forms.
Our dreams are no longer just about having a comfortable roof to call home but about having an attractive location, income generating properties, and vacation homes.
Our desire is no longer just to have a car for convenience but to have two or more cars, preferably expensive and attractive ones.
Our goal is no longer just to be healthy, to have a fully functioning body in terms of strength, balance, flexibility, and proportions; now it must be defined, toned, evoked, and basically become a work of art that can be seen, admired and discussed.
Even just walking is not just walking anymore. You need to count your steps, count calories burned, and share your results.
Financial freedom is no longer about making ends meet or setting aside for the rainy season or emergencies, but is now a full-time job on top of your full-time job and side hustle.
With the advent of happiness gurus, opinion boards, affirmations, and the culture of feeling good, our dreams and desires become unbearable. Now there is a formula for dreaming and wishing and an expected, normal result to match.
I always find it curious how almost every vision board around the world looks like. It is even more interesting to know when you relate the fact that we all grew up in different homes with different cultural and religious backgrounds, we look different physically, and our educational background is different. Yet our desires, dreams, visions, and desires seem to have morphed into one.
Most common on a vision board are all visual objects. A unique home, an expensive car, and enviable vacation spots. And despite our different genes, bone density, height, etc., the body’s goals are very similar if not identical.
We all repeat the same words morning and evening for assurances of prosperity and abundance.
You’d be hard-pressed to find a vision board full of desires related to patience, kindness, forgiveness, picking up the trash, checking on your neighbor, calling more family members, feeding stray animals, finding satisfaction with your finances instead of making more money, being thankful that the bus stops near your home and that at that time of year, you don’t have the desire for a pregnant body, or you don’t have the desire for a pregnant body. a sick body, a body that carried and gave birth to other people, a different disabled body, etc.
They may have vision boards like this, but it’s not common.
We are all free to dream, desire, and envision the kind of lifestyle we want; we all know this. What needs to be said is that you can aspire and dream easily, and that your dreams and desires are still valid.
You are not lazy. You have little or no faith because your dream life, which you visualize and create in your mind, those deep desires and wishes, looks like this:
Walking or cycling to all the places you need to get to, buying used clothes, living in a simple home, growing and preserving food, creating fun with what you have and having fun while you are at it, working and earning less, sleeping in the afternoon, reading on the balcony without guilt, spending your evenings or weekends talking to people, be it family or having fun without being free, friends or friends. spending hours and dollars on your appearance.
If you have never wished to wear expensive perfume and are happy with a basic body spray or nothing at all, your desire is important.
If you have crooked teeth but don’t have a strong desire to get braces, you don’t charge less; you, my friend, are touched with satisfaction.
Maybe you prefer going for a walk, practicing yin yoga or mat Pilates, or dancing to your favorite music instead of doing HIIT and sweating it out at the gym. Yes, you have wide hips, a good amount of cellulite, stretch marks, maybe a little pooch belly, and the exercise you enjoy won’t sculpt that body, but maybe you don’t care.
No, you are not lazy by not wanting to put yourself through military-like training every day for the rest of your life just to become an art form for others to enjoy. If you are calm and see the importance of the type of physical activity you like, that’s all there is to it.
If you’re not planning expensive vacations but instead prefer to take a little break from your everyday life—whether it’s going to the beach on the weekends, going to the beach in the afternoons, or going hiking once a week or grabbing lunch at a nice restaurant—these are all ways to relax and discover new things. You don’t settle for a low standard of living just because you live differently or cheaply.
Being financially poor by today’s standards does not, and should not, equate to being mentally poor, physically poor, emotionally poor, friendship poor, relationship poor, happiness poor, or happiness.
You’re not a little person because you don’t drive a fancy car (or any car), live in a small apartment instead of a house of your own, don’t own luxury items, don’t earn a living in Greece, and went to a small vocational college (or none at all).
Define what is important and important to you, and don’t cast stones. Always allow yourself, your definitions, your ethics, your values, your dreams, your desires, your ideas, your affirmations, your feelings, your body, and your belief systems to change, evolve over time and the changing seasons of life.
Life doesn’t have to increase, increase, and increase. It goes down, down, and down again. This is correct. All stages of life are important and hold value, and you are allowed to enjoy them, be in them, and be at peace while you are in them.
About Muthoni Amran
Muthoni Amran lives in a coastal area in Kenya. She is a freelance Mandarin Chinese tutor who loves reading, traveling, long conversations, and the art of being casual.
